


I Want You To Want Me

by the_technicolor_whiscash



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005), Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV 1981)
Genre: Almost Dying, Kissing, M/M, having to face their feelings, i love zaphod with all my heart but he is just a bit of a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 08:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16091948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_technicolor_whiscash/pseuds/the_technicolor_whiscash
Summary: Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent are about to die. Ford makes a split-second decision that has no impact on whether or not they'll come out of it alive, but at least it makes him feel better about the whole thing.





	I Want You To Want Me

**Author's Note:**

> two days ago i saw a man in an hitchhikers guide t shirt and then today i started watching the 1981 tv series and came to the conclusion that i was destined to write another hitchhiker's guide fic

Things had gone very poorly for Ford Prefect today. The earth had been destroyed, he had been forced to hear Vogon poetry, he had a splitting headache, and now, he was about to be shot into space. Normally, he would not have had a problem with it. But this time, he did not have a spacesuit, which created a serious problem. He also had to deal with his friend Arthur Dent, who was on the verge of a panic attack.

Arthur was… how to describe Arthur? He was the average adult human, slightly tall, slightly wirey, always looking a bit lost. But there was one thing that set Arthur apart from the rest of the carbon-based ape-descendants, and it was the fact that Arthur liked Ford. Most everyone seemed to avoid him like a bad cold, though Ford couldn’t put a finger on why. He had a hypothesis that it was because humans could subconsciously guess that he was an alien, but that hypothesis was quickly nixed when someone almost hit him with a car. 

And Ford liked Arthur. Quite a lot. Maybe too much. Far too much for an alien from the vicinity of Betelgeuse to like a carbon-based ape-descendant. Ford never came to the planet earth expecting to fall in love. Then again, he never expected to spend 15 years on earth. Life is, quite often, full of surprises. 

“Any bright ideas?” Arthur said, backing up against the airlock door.

“Not yet.”

“How much time do we have left?”

“Probably less than a minute.” 

“Think quickly, then.”

Ford thought. Then, he didn’t think. He gripped Arthur by the shoulders, before leaning in and kissing him on the lips. It was rather rough, but Ford didn’t care. When he pulled away after a moment, Arthur stared at him. 

“What’d you do that for?” Arthur exclaimed, sliding to the side. 

Ford felt his stomach drop like a rock. “It seemed like an appropriate moment, given that it seems like we’re about to die.”

“I understand the moment, I’ve read my fair share of novels, but that still doesn’t explain why you decided to do it.”

“I don’t know how to explain it to you in a way you won’t hate me for.”

Arthur sighed. “I could never hate you, Ford. Especially not after all we’ve been through today. I would have disintegrated along with my planet if you hadn’t decided to save me.” He paused. “Lord, that is a bit dark. I’m the last human being in the universe.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, there are many species out there that look just like humans, albeit far more technologically advanced, and with less of a focus on digital watches.” Humans did seem to place far too much of their time thinking about digital watches. 

“Yes, but I’ll know that they aren’t human.”

“You had no idea I wasn’t human until I told you.”

Arthur thought for a moment. “Alright, you got me there, but-”

His sentence was cut off by the opening of the airlock and their expulsion into space.

If you know enough about this story to be reading this, then you already know that they get picked up by Zaphod Beeblebrox in his ship the Heart of Gold, which Zaphod decidedly does not have, but it makes for a good ship name, anyhow. In the time proceeding, neither Ford nor Arthur brought up the incident in the airlock until quite a while later. Trillian had gone to bed, and Zaphod had passed out, due to the fact that having two heads means you can drink twice as much and get drunk twice as fast. Ford was spending his time pacing around the bridge, trying to organize the day’s events in his head. That was when Arthur stumbled onto the bridge, flicking the lights on. 

Arthur started when he saw Ford. “Sorry, I didn’t realize anyone else was awake.”

“Neither did I. Don’t humans require eight hours of sleep to be fully functional?”

“Most of us do. And most of us don’t pay attention to those rules. Or, we didn’t. Can’t really say ‘we’ anymore, can I?”

Ford gave Arthur a pitiful look. “I am dreadfully sorry for you, old chap. But at least you’ve got Trillian, she’s human.”

“Barely. She’s so familiar with space. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this sort of thing.” He sat down heavily in a chair. “Why were you pacing around in the dark?”

“I was organizing my thoughts. It’s been quite a day. And, to be honest, I couldn’t sleep.”

The computer powered up, its irritating voice grating on Ford’s tired ears. “I could play you calming ocean sounds! Studies show it’s incredibly effective in-”

“It would make me sleep better if you would just shut up, computer.”

“Alrighty! If you think that’d help, I’ll do my best!” The computer went into sleep mode, something Ford wished he could do. 

“Blimey.” Ford muttered. “I didn’t think that’d work.” 

Arthur spun around in his chair. Earth was not the only planet upon which swivel chairs existed, and in fact they had been discovered almost simultaneously in a burst of collective knowledge as yet unseen in the history of the universe, and will likely never be seen again. “So are we going to talk about what happened in the airlock, or are we going to pretend like it never happened?”

“That depends. Clearly, we are both still alive, so my heat of the moment decision was not necessarily the wisest one. So if you want to pretend like it never happened, I wouldn’t be averse to that.”

“You never actually explained to me why you did it. You avoided the question, and I got sidetracked, and then we got shot out of an airlock. And I couldn’t very well ask you about it when Zaphod was around. I have a distinct feeling he would never stop making fun of us for it.”

“You might be right about that one.” Ford sat down on the instrument panel. “Zaphod’s family, but he’s a flawed man. Very, very flawed. I still can’t believe he came to earth without telling me. That bastard.”

“He was too busy sweeping Trillian off her feet with his terrible pickup lines.”

“He does tend to have that effect, yes.” 

“But you’ve avoided the question again, Ford. Why did you kiss me in the airlock?”

Hearing Arthur say it firmly cemented the regret in his mind. “Because, Arthur, we’ve known each other for five earth years by this point. In that time, I’ve grown quite fond of you. I know on earth, human sexuality seems to be quite strict, but in space, none of those rules apply. You like who you like, and if anyone has a problem with that, you have the option of dropping them out of an airlock or onto an abandoned planet.”

“Woah, woah.” Arthur stood, holding his hands up. “Are you saying you’re attracted to me?”

“Basically, yes. You could even go so far as to say that I love you. If that’s not too sappy.” 

Ford went through a wide series of indescribable emotions as Arthur thought about what Ford had said. After what felt like an eon, Arthur gave him a slight smile. “It is a bit sappy, yes. But sappy is exactly what I need, after what I’ve just been through.”

“So you don’t hate me, then?”

“I told you before, Ford. I could never hate you.” Arthur stood and approached Ford, taking Ford’s hands into his. “You’re the one person who, throughout all this, hasn’t treated me like I’m some stupid ape. You’ve actually bothered to explain to me what’s going on. You don’t know how much I appreciate that.”

“Of course. It’s the least I can do.” 

“Is that why you saved me, specifically? Not just some rando off the street?”

“You’re my friend. I would have saved you regardless of whether or not I loved you.” 

“But it helped in the decision.”

“Just a tad.”

Arthur smiled, chuckling slightly. “Good.” 

And with that, Arthur pressed his lips to Ford’s. This kiss was better constructed, and with less of a pressing time constraint, allowing for Ford to relax into it. He parted his lips and sighed, separating his hands from Arthur’s in order to run them through Arthur’s hair. Ford felt himself being pushed up further against the instrument panel, prompting him to kiss Arthur even harder. 

Ford would have kept kissing him forever, had it not been for a third voice clearing their throat in the doorway. Ford froze, and Arthur quickly disentangled himself from Ford in order to whip around to see who it was.

“Well, I was going to check on the ship, but I see you two have that covered.” Said Zaphod, a toothy grin across both of his faces. “I see I’m not the only one who decided to bang a human on the dashboard.”

“We weren’t-” Ford paused. “I just started thinking about that sentence and I have decided I don’t want to know any more about it.”

“I’ll leave that up to the imagination.” Zaphod winked. “You two have fun. Ford, you are never living this down.”

Ford groaned, leaning his forehead against Arthur’s shoulder. “I knew this would happen. Why couldn’t we have been picked up by anyone else in the universe?”

“Infinite improbability, baby. Wasn’t my choice. But hey, if you guys ever need any contraceptives-”

“Zaphod. Get out.” 

Zaphod delivered finger guns with all three of his hands before sliding out of the room. 

Ford sighed, not picking his head up. In his defense, Arthur’s shoulder was quite comfortable.

Arthur shook his head. “What a jackass.”

“That about sums him up, yes. A jackass with a stolen ship and far too much power than is good for him. I have a feeling this is all going to come crashing down, and he’ll be caught amongst the rubble.” Ford ran his hand up and down Arthur’s arm. “Meanwhile, we’ll be hundreds of lightyears away, sipping martinis on a beach planet.”

“Is that what you fantasize about? Martinis and beaches? Because honest to god, I have no idea what’s going on in that head of yours.”

“I fantasize about a lot of things. I have a very overactive imagination. Helps me with writing for the Guide.”

“That makes me question just how accurate your articles are.”

“It depends on which one, how bored I was, and how much alcohol I had consumed in the last six hours or so.”

“Oh, of course.” Arthur turned around, taking Ford’s face into his hands. “Now, shall we get back to what we were doing before?”

“Yes, but maybe not here. Every time I think about where we are all I can think about is Zaphod’s filthy stories.”

“What should we do, then?”

“Oh, I have an idea.”

“You usually do.”

**Author's Note:**

> i try to emulate Adams' style a bit and its so much fun I love it  
> if i didn't have a reputation to uphold with my other fics i would write like him constantly


End file.
